"ok, i totally get it. we are clearly out of each others league. she's sophisticated, i'm not. she's sexy, i'm not. she's feminine, i'm not. she's not cool. I AM."


I thought it was gonna be fine. I thought it was gonna be entirely okay. But it wasn't. Clearly, I hate her and she hates me. One of the most arcane problems in my life: How Come? We were doing fine, as friends. For me. I guess, college showed us what we were made of. What we were made for. It was just like "those" other friendships that didn't last long on a daily basis. A social and forgivable f aux pas. I didn't regret the day we came to be peers, because I understood her the way I would understand my own sister (if i have one). She was family. She was closer to me than anybody else. For ten years, we worked all the way to the top, encountering bumps along the way.

It didn't work out, unfortunately. I learned a lot from this one itself, that you can't always trust anybody especially your best friend, it might as well be disastrous and insane.



continuation: next journal